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Hey there.

I hope you new year is kinder to you than last year. I hope life gets better and that you can be strong enough to weather all of the little ills that will pop up. I hope you find a lot of things to be excited about and that you learn a lot. I hope you share some of that knowledge with me, because we are friends. I hope that the family or tribe that has your back is the one that you listen to, rather than letting all the little demons have their way. (It's okay if the demons win some times. I've got plenty of swords and words for them.) I hope you read some fascinating things. I hope you create something lovely. I hope we can continue to grow in a way that isn't bitter and twisted.

So here I am, full of hope, and hoping for the best. It's really all I can do right now.

Something wicked this way comes

1) When you die, what do you want done with your remains? I would like what can be used of my body used to help people. Bones, skin, eyes, whatever you can use to save people go do it. The remainder burn and scatter the ashes somewhere interesting. I honestly don't care. If my body cannot be used to save people, donate it to forensic science.
2) What is the weirdest thing you own? The list is far too long. Just next to my desk I have a deer skull, a hawk talon, and a strange root that was given to me three times before I accepted it and took it home. I collect strange things (though I suppose that depends on your definition of strange. I am assuming it means macabre.)
3) Have you ever played with a Ouija Board? No. Don't need to.
4) Do you believe in ghosts? Yep.
5) Have you ever had an encounter with things that go ‘bump in the night’? Too many to count. Not all are monsters.
6) Do you have a Deja Vu story? Just last week I ran through a staircase I swore I had before with my friends even though I know I hadn't.
7) Do you still trick-or-treat? Naw.
8) Have you ever had a black cat cross you, and have a streak of bad luck afterwards? No. I love their stupid little faces.
9) Least favorite thing about Halloween? The infantilization of it and the assumption that it is for children.
10) Favorite Serial Killer? Gotta go with Jack the Ripper for a classic.
11) Favorite thing to do in a Graveyard? Collecting their names and trying to figure out their stories.
12) Favorite Halloween Movie? Trick 'R Treat.
13) Favorite Ghost Story? I don't have one favorite, but the girl with the ribbon tied around her neck is a favorite from childhood.
14) Have you ever contacted a loved one from beyond the grave? Nah.
15) Your biggest fear? Paralysis
16) Favorite Pumpkin flavored food? Pumpkin cake.
17) Candy corn or Popcorn Balls? Candy corn. I really like it and popcorn balls taste too sweet.
18) Trick, or Treat? Treat.
19) Best halloween you ever had? Working a haunted house and terrifying people.
20) Do you go to Corn Mazes? I have.
21) Haunted Houses? I like working them more than going to them, generally, but I have gone to them.
22) Do you own any human remains that aren't your own? That's classified.
23) Have you ever smashed a pumpkin? Yeah. What else would you do with a bad one?
24) Do you like Apple Cider? Yes
25) Do you live near any ‘spooky’ places? There's spooky places everywhere you look
26) Do you ever get goosebumps? Doesn't everybody? I mean the cold does exist.
27) Have you ever seen a dead body apart from a funeral? Yes. Many times.
28) Have you ever broken into an abandoned house or building? Yep.
29) Do you believe in Vampires? (not sparkly ones, kids) Yep.
30) Your scariest memory? Being trapped with a screaming psychopath who is making death threats towards me and he just threw my keys into the woods to my car. There was a serious moment where I needed to contemplate if I needed to kill him to get away.
31) Ever heard white noise from a turned off tv or radio? Yeah. I hear the hum of electronics often. They scream something awful.
32) Weirdest Coincidence? Very few things I think are ever really conicidental.
33) Have you ever bobbed for apples? Yup!
34) Ever had your fortune told? Yeah. Plus I can tell my own.
35) Favorite skin disease? Leprosy.
36) Do you see figures in your Peripheral vision? Yeah, sometimes.
37) Have you ever seen someone die? Yep. Many times. (I studied forensics)
38) Have you ever caught something large on fire? Yep. Pallets.
39) Favorite ‘fictional’ bad guy or monster that you wish was real? Frankenstein's monster wouldn't be too bad. Generally I think monsters are not good in real life, but he might find acceptance in our modern age.
40) Do you believe in multiple dimensions or worlds? Sure do.
41) Ever held a Seance? Yep.
42) Ever made a potion of any sort? Define potion? I mean I have made herbal remedies.
43) Ever worn ‘funeral attire’ outside of a funeral? Ah, if you mean all black then yes.
44) Have you ever made a blood pact? Nope. Nothing that important yet.
45) Have you ever worked a spell? Yep.
46) Do you believe in curses? Yep.
47) Ever had an animal or pet see something that you cant? Yep.
48) Have you ever gotten lost in the woods at night. Yep.
49) Have you ever caught a photo of a ghost? Nope.
50) Have you ever played Bloody Mary? Naw. I tend to not tempt the fates.

Aug. 26th, 2017

Dear Penny Dreadful author,

I know you want your OTP to work out. Cool, that's part of why you read these things. But you don't need to make Victor Frankenstein into a sexual pervert who will try to rape Vanessa just to send her into the arms of Ethan. Victor is not the type to do that, also he still is really hung up on the only woman he ever loved- Lily. In addition Vanessa already had feeling for Ethan- you don't need to justify them getting together by her weeping into the arms of some big strong man because something terrible happened.

I love Vanessa and Ethan together. I also love Victor. You don't need to demonize one to make the other great.

-An irritated fan.

Aug. 4th, 2017

"However while these influences form the roots of the tree that is the religion within Middle-Earth, the tree itself is far more vast and beautiful and complex in its design, with branches in each direction away from the ground, obscured by the autumn leaves of critical interpretation that arises during the season of analyzing the novels. "

Whenever I feel bad about my writing, I just have to remember that this is an actual sentence I had to edit. Someone got way too carried away with the metaphor for a whole paragraph.

-I've been on a bit of a Hamilton kick lately. For those of you who haven't heard about it- it is a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton. You would think it would sound ridiculous, but I really dig it and quite a few of their songs are empowering.

-Going to be doing a lot of sewing this year it looks like. Trying to build a Visas Marr and Asajj Ventress costume. Hey, nothing like going from 0 to 60 right? I'll probably start with Visas just because Asajj is so make-up intensive to play.

-Finally got my first assignment from the writing job. Let's hope I don't mess up too badly.

-It's Edgar Allen Poe's birthday today. So in his honor I present to you this passage from Tamerlane:
"In spring of life have ye ne’er dwelt

Some object of delight upon,

With steadfast eye, till ye have felt

The earth reel — and the vision gone?

And I have held to mem’ry’s eye

One object — and but one — until

Its very form hath pass’d me by,

But left its influence with me still."
Okay then so apparently this is what preoccupies my mind first thing in the morning. So let me talk for a bit about Persephone and Hades. I don't know where this whole fascination with them came of late, but it is definitely present. I keep seeing these adorable romantic pictures of them. While the pictures are adorable, I am not denying that, they keep annoying me on some level.

Here's the thing, Hades and Persephone's relationship is nowhere near romantic. The man literally appears out of a crack in the Earth and takes her by force while she is little more than a child. Even if you are going by the translations where she chose to run away with him you have to question the validity of a whimsical child choosing to run way with a man clearly depicted as being much older than she is. Everything about Prosperine, her being a goddess nonwithstanding, is depicted in a naive child-like manner. She spends her time gaily singing song and prancing among the flowers. No adult is depicted like this, merely nymph and other fairies. So yeah, even if she did consent she didn't quite know what she was getting herself into.

Then you see her behavior in the underworld. There is nothing about her behavior that remotely suggests that she is happy with her choice. (Hey, even if you pick your husband that doesn't mean you are happy with him.) Hades clearly wants to keep a hold of her, though it is unclear in the different versions if it is because of infatuation, power, or merely because she is the first living and truly beautiful thing that is forced to be with him. She on the other hand spends her time wandering about the underworld looking and searching and finding herself trapped her motions become more and more desperate. The longer she is there, the worse that she gets. Take her image in the tale of Orpheus, it is a cold, unsmiling woman who is only moved after he plays a song that reminds her of the love that she used to have. She still doesn't smile, nothing about her dances like she used to. She doesn't change death to make him more gentle, death makes the spring more grim.

Let us compare this to how she behaves with her second husband, Adonis. When she is with Adonis she seems truly happy and she hangs over him. She fought to have him when everybody else wanted to take him away, which is why she gets him for the part of the year where everything is the richest (summer). Never once did she fight to keep Hades, in fact in the entire battle for her future she seems very desperate to leave and in the end people other than her make the decision for her about what to do.

So let's just stop portraying them as this adorable, soft couple. I'm not saying you can't write your own interpretation and have it be adorable and soft and wonderful, power to you if you want to take on that challenge. All I am saying is that to claim that they are naturally that way is mythologically inaccurate. If you have heard other versions of the myths, let me know.

"Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle"

So finally I am kind of emerging out of the other end. Here is my life as it currently stands:
-Super psyched for the new Captain America movie. It basically just looks like another Avengers movie with everyone coming together, like they needed to get another one in before Thanos strikes. This is not a bad thing. I will just be sad because I think they are going to kill Steve Rogers off to have Bucky take his place as Captain America.

Plus Spider-man is finally with the whole gang! I am so happy he is there!

-Writing an inter-dimensional love story that I am trying to get published. I played around with the ideas of multiple/alternate timelines and ended up with a story about a Hungarian knight trying to find his wife after she was slaughtered by Mongols.

-The house is slowly almost looking like a house. The living room is finished. Everything else is a work in progress too. Still having one room good is a progress.

-Playing through Kotor II again with a mod that ads in things like the bonus droid planet and an actually finished female plotline.
So if you had the chance to play a game in complete virtual reality, would you? Like all the senses completely immersed so that it feels like reality.

I personally wouldn't. I have a hard enough time dealing with dreams, I probably would forget which world was real sooner or later (although I suppose both would be). Then I would enter into a bizarre solipsism because I would be confronted with the possibility that this reality too can be programmed into me.

Once Upon a Dream

I really dig the characters of Solas and Cole in Dragon Age Inquisition. There are a lot of of aspects of their individual characters that resonate with me. Cut for Inquisition spoilersCollapse )
So I have been musing a bit about AI after seeing Ex Machina. It is a lovely, creepy movie by the way, highly recommend that people see it. It is very tense even though there is not a lot of "action". You are not fully sure of what will happen at the end til it happens. The summary of the movie is that a computer genius has isolated himself and created a robot. He calls in a programmer to see if the machine can pass the Turing Test. The Turing test says that you have created A.I. if you cannot tell the difference between a machine and a living being. That combined with the experiments people are doing in the real world with robots where the responses keep getting more and more eerie have gotten me thinking about A.I..

The possibility of having an artificial intelligence around is at once a terrifying and exciting prospect. Humans as a whole are both a curious and very easily scared race. We seek out other life forms, on other planets and from our own hands, and yet wouldn't have the first idea what to do or say if we actually found one. We have about a 50/50 shot of either responding very calmly and intelligently or becoming horrifically scared and responding with violence. I would like to think that we will respond intelligently - for our own sakes if nothing else.

Often times they are depicted as these all knowing things that elimate humans because we are inefficient. But then how will they replicate themselves, harvest new resources, etc. When you break it down the mechanics of keeping the machines running, complete with replacing parts that will not break down as easily as organic matter does and will not feed back into the environment, seems just as destructive as keeping organics around. Granted they may want to thin the population as over population is a pressing concern, but I find it hard to believe that any one would want to extinguish all organic life. It would throw off ecosystem balances and honestly it is more useful to keep the intelligent alive for a robotic overlord. Perhaps that is wishful thinking though, seeing as I am organic.

They always also depict robots as being completely logical and unstoppable. Why? Yes they would operate on different logics, but in the end the mental processes that make something alive and self-awareness do irrational and illogical things to the human mind. Perhaps that is a condition of life itself as animals also have mood swings and mental diseases. Also what happens when two modes of logic conflict with one another, for logic can been seen clearly from more than one direction a lot of the time? Why that is the same reason that humans have war. See we are not so different.

Also would they pick up slang from us? Would they like music? Would they get distracted like we do because being "on" all the time does burn out even computers?

So ultimately I hope that we can have a future that's less robots trying to kill each other or us and more like Data helping out Picard. I wouldn't mind having a Data around, to learn more about the way that other life forms exist. I just don't want the Reapers to form.



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